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Dose of Relationships

 

 

December 1, 2008

The incredible benefits of a friendly "marriage of equals" is daringly illustrated by the Clinton's long-standing and likely overwhelmingly sexless relationship. 

With the rise in Internet dating and social networks promising that we will find our needs met quickly and smoothly in a click of a mouse, who can even dare wrap their mind around that undefeated and wonderfully kick-ass Lifelong Tag Team of ... The Billary?

Let's see, is it true we all crave romance, two kids....  great sex, a picket fence, a comfy home, money and emotional security?  Isn't that what we all desire in life, and to share with a "life partner?" or in New Age speak, a  "soulmate?" 

So, I ask you, what are the benefits of a  publicly platonic, well-orchestrated, wholly pragmatic, long-term marriage between two people who want the same things out of life?  

After an embittered, unsuccessful and protracted run against  Barack Obama for the office of President of the United States, it seems that Senator Clinton has come up off the mat bruised as well as victorious.  All media sources indicate that she will be appointed to the coveted Secretary of State role under the Obama Administration today. Following in the footsteps of Madeline Albright and Condoleeza Rice, Senator Clinton will be in powerful and truly ladylike company indeed.

So what, in tarnation, kinds of women are these? 

Well, they are likely not the kind your mother warned you about, as she probably didn't even know these kinds of women existed.  Perish the thought that a woman would trade on her dreams of a long-term, faithful union with the man of her dreams for her own, well, dreams further down the road.  Ladies don't do this, do they?  They get divorced and re-marry unsuccessfully, stay single and age desperately, become addicted to Percoset, go into therapy, move back in with their parents or adult children or simply fade from view.  Right?

Well, wrong, actually. Very wrong.

While one could go on in joint perpetuity with fellow feminists about the professional achievements of Senator Clinton, there is probably less agreement regarding her actual rise to power. The personal implications of her mercenary pursuit of her various political posts are especially troubling to many accomplished women. Specifically, there are conflicting opinions on how women who manage to attain their power and noteworthiness through the man in their lives, namely their husbands, should be thought about.  How does one frame them so that they stack up against the women who slug it out alone man-less, up and down the ladder, in and out of the glass ceiling, with no cushion or parachute and certainly no "in-house penis" to speak of?

Former Secretary of State Madeline Albright, a divorced mother of three and uber heavyweight Georgetown University Professor, served as the US Ambassador to the United Nations during President Clinton's first term. At times, she became quite unpopular, shouldering enormous criticism for her policies surrounding Rwanda and then her handling of the precursor to our current Middle East conundrum in Iraq. As far as we know, we never saw Secretary of State Albright on the arm of a powerful gentleman as a wife or  fiance.

And, that goes double triple quadruple for the incredibly daunting woman that is Condoleeza Rice.  While often whispered that she prefers professional football players (The Redskins) and is known to be a bit of a Cougar, Secretary of State Rice is definitely known to go it alone.  Yes, alone in front of the likes of Hugo Chavez and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, with the help of only a Bottega Venetta aged leather clutch purse to fend off criticism and sexist barbs.  Formerly the Provost at Stanford University where she was an esteemed professor of Political Science, Condoleeza Rice has come under unparalleled criticism for her handling of all things Middle East.

No woman emerges from the office of Secretary of State without a good whoppin'. And, if history is any teacher, Senator Clinton will be no different.  But, the complex part of this story is the transactional or professional tradeoff made by the former President toward the offer of her appointment.

Former President Bill Clinton has agreed to make public all of the names of the donors to his Clinton Library and render all of his diplomatic and foreign-based interactions completely transparent.  Senator Clinton's appointment to Secretary State was made contingent on these tradeoffs by the Obama Administration.  And, this concession on the part of Bill Clinton is understandable, as it was rumored that the former President has ongoing involvements with everyone from extremely wealthy Arab businessmen to Eastern European politicians.

One thing is for certain, knowing what we all know about Bill Clinton, this concession was not come by easily.  Likely Hillary had to pry it out of his meaty clutches.  But, fortunately for Bill, he probably knew something was coming, that she had something in store for him. Because in these kinds of relationships someone always pays the piper while the other one dances, either spiritually, emotionally or physically.

And, that's okay I guess because at least someone's dancing, right?

Whereas in many long term marriages where there are arrangements and understandings, there is also deep imbalance and unhappiness, often on the part of the woman.  As we age, our life opportunities can dwindle, since so much of what is put on our plates is geared toward our youth and young families.  When these things either never transpire or ultimately lapse, we are left with little when our marriages become "friendly" -- at best.

So, with this being the case, there is triumph in Senator Clinton's appointment. And there is even greater victory in the joy she has found in her relationship with Bill Clinton.  To me, her personal life has always remained so private, while he kind of just let it all hang out. So she is a political heroine of sorts, making lemonade from lemons.  And hopefully Peace Treaties and Conventions out of dire overseas situations.  All hail, this brave and brilliant woman whose next stage of life has just begun.

 

 
 

 

 

 

 

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